If you have not been on the receiving end of the fabled “bisou” or “gros bisous” your French family may not like you very much. (Sad but true) :) Bisou means kisses. Gros bisous means lots of kisses. This is one of my FAVORITE things about the French language and culture. All my life I wanted to be one of those girls that would nonchalantly say “kisses” to a friend with good-bye. Unfortunately, with my cynical and sarcastic personality I was never able to truly pull it off. Until the day I found bisou! Bisou has allowed me to be one of those bubbly happy girls to float the “kisses” salutation with ease. God bless the French for sharing bisou with me!
More on the “bisou” later…until then…
Bisou,
Vivi :)
From Rachel
I too, am a HUGE fan of the "bisou", and quite honestly didn't really know exactly what it meant at first, but liked the sound of it. Julien explained the meaning to me, which made me like it more....plus, it was ONE word I could actually pronounce, which was a definite plus! It was a way to be loving with his family, without being all cheesy and fake.
I have to admit the first time I talked to Julien's parents on the phone and as we were saying our goodbye's they said "I give you a big kiss"......WHOA...."bisou" is one thing, but "I give you a big kiss" really felt strange. I mean, these were my in-laws! In the spirit of the conversation (and the fact that they were being friendly towards me, the "American" girl who sole their son (more on that one later)), I found myself saying "I give you a big kiss too". It felt weird coming out of my mouth, but I felt that I should just go with it :)
As the years have gone by, I have developed an even deeper affection for "bisou" and "gros bisou", but still remain pretty weirded out with giving my in-laws a "big kiss".
Vive la France!
Rachel
Eiffel
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About Rachel
From Rachel - My story is a lot the same as Vivan’s…..I had just moved to NYC and was busy working away at my new job, and thoroughly enjoying my new life when a tall dark handsome Frenchman (let's call him Julien) entered the picture. He was visiting NY from Paris and happened to have lunch with my boss…..I was immediately smitten, but then he went back to France. I figured he was one of those “French guys” and had lots of girls on the side, or at least a gorgeous French girl back home. Little did I know he was the EXACT opposite of that! After a few weeks, a cd arrived on my desk of a band that we had been talking about, with a sweet note but no contact information. I guess he figured that if I was interested, then I would find his contact information and email him. I got sidetracked at work, and didn’t email him back…..then an email appeared, which led us to frequent emails back and forth for the next year. He was funny…charming…educated….full of culture…and FRENCH, which at the time was definitely seen as a plus! He decided to come back to NY and soon after his arrival we went on a date, and haven’t been apart since!
Two weeks after we started “dating”, we went back to Paris for a 10 day vacation. I thought this was going to be the most wonderfully romantic 10 days of my life……little did I know what lay in store for me. I encountered the toughest people I have ever met. My loneliness and sense of not belonging was such a contrast from the outward beauty and romance of the city. The cultures….the food….the French mothers…..they all let me know that I would NEVER EVER be French, no matter how much fois gras I ate or how hard I tried! HA!
Even after all this, I just couldn’t imagine NOT being with this wonderful man, and we married last year. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced – trying to “be” French….and I have resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard I try to be the best wife, daughter in law, sister in law, granddaughter in law….I will NEVER ever be French!
I too, have spent countless hours laughing, crying, screaming, and desperately trying to figure out these complex Frenchies. I guess it’s going to be a lifelong quest, but I’m up for the challenge.....especially since I have Vivi around to share stories with, and tell me that no, it's not me...it's THEM! :)
Two weeks after we started “dating”, we went back to Paris for a 10 day vacation. I thought this was going to be the most wonderfully romantic 10 days of my life……little did I know what lay in store for me. I encountered the toughest people I have ever met. My loneliness and sense of not belonging was such a contrast from the outward beauty and romance of the city. The cultures….the food….the French mothers…..they all let me know that I would NEVER EVER be French, no matter how much fois gras I ate or how hard I tried! HA!
Even after all this, I just couldn’t imagine NOT being with this wonderful man, and we married last year. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced – trying to “be” French….and I have resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard I try to be the best wife, daughter in law, sister in law, granddaughter in law….I will NEVER ever be French!
I too, have spent countless hours laughing, crying, screaming, and desperately trying to figure out these complex Frenchies. I guess it’s going to be a lifelong quest, but I’m up for the challenge.....especially since I have Vivi around to share stories with, and tell me that no, it's not me...it's THEM! :)
About Vivian
In 2003 I met the most beautiful man-who we will call Sebastien-in Chicago, Illinois. He had just completed his MBA at the University of Miami (Florida) and taken a position in Scottsdale, Arizona. I lived in Washington DC. He was in Chicago with his fraternity brothers and I was in town to lend moral support to one of my friends at the opening of his new restaurant. Our chance meeting led us to spend the rest of the weekend together. After our magical weekend in the Windy City we both returned home to our respective jobs and lives. It was very sad, not in a dramatic way, but in a “we have so much more to experience together” way. We promised to call one another and see each other soon. I did not think this would happen and went about my life back in DC which consisted of work, work and, um, more work!
I do not remember who called who first but after a couple weeks of chatting on the phone we decided we should see each other again. Sebastien boarded a flight and spent a few days with me in Washington DC. It was a wonderful! It was like we had known each other forever. I loved spending time with this person. I thought to myself, how had I ever dated anyone else or spent time with someone else? Sebastien was the most wonderful person I had ever known and unlike most of the people I had been in previous relationships with, he was absolutely gorgeous. I mean, I still to this day think, how did I marry such a beautiful man (inside and out).
Over the next few months we had some major changes in our lives and careers, which led Sebastien back to Florida. I soon followed and we were married months later. Complete bliss! Most of our experiences with his family were spent at his parents second home which is in Florida as well. Thus, I still had the comforts of home like Starbucks, dinner guests who spoke English, etc. I thought to myself, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world! I have a wonderful husband (still true) and someday I will get to have babies and move to Paris (being a DC girl living anywhere else in France has never really occurred to me). I looked forward to dressing up to attend the four hour dinners with his family when they were visiting the States. The food was fabulous; the family was so laid back and understanding of my lack of ability to speak their native language. All was beautiful in my new life as a Frenchwoman!
I now look back and laugh at how naive this little girl from the Midwest was and my lack of acknowledgement of the complexity of the French culture...
I have been working on becoming French since and now I am exhausted.
I do not remember who called who first but after a couple weeks of chatting on the phone we decided we should see each other again. Sebastien boarded a flight and spent a few days with me in Washington DC. It was a wonderful! It was like we had known each other forever. I loved spending time with this person. I thought to myself, how had I ever dated anyone else or spent time with someone else? Sebastien was the most wonderful person I had ever known and unlike most of the people I had been in previous relationships with, he was absolutely gorgeous. I mean, I still to this day think, how did I marry such a beautiful man (inside and out).
Over the next few months we had some major changes in our lives and careers, which led Sebastien back to Florida. I soon followed and we were married months later. Complete bliss! Most of our experiences with his family were spent at his parents second home which is in Florida as well. Thus, I still had the comforts of home like Starbucks, dinner guests who spoke English, etc. I thought to myself, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world! I have a wonderful husband (still true) and someday I will get to have babies and move to Paris (being a DC girl living anywhere else in France has never really occurred to me). I looked forward to dressing up to attend the four hour dinners with his family when they were visiting the States. The food was fabulous; the family was so laid back and understanding of my lack of ability to speak their native language. All was beautiful in my new life as a Frenchwoman!
I now look back and laugh at how naive this little girl from the Midwest was and my lack of acknowledgement of the complexity of the French culture...
I have been working on becoming French since and now I am exhausted.
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1 comment:
You guys crack me up with your blogging! Keep the cultural blogs coming because I'm learning so much about my French bro-in-law!
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